So there is this guy with a big van who runs over redneck hitchikers. One day, he sees a priest hitchiking so he picks him up. On the way to town, the driver sees a redneck hitchiker but he decides to swerve to the left and let this one live. But then he hears a big BANG! He looks over and he priest says,"It's okay, I got him with the door."

WANT DID THE WATER SAY . I NEED TO GO TO THE BANK

A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, 'I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one.'



'Me first!' says the paralegal. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise.



Poof! She's gone.



'Me next!' says the associate. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.'



Poof! He's gone.



'You're next,' the Genie says to the partner.



The partner says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

WHAT DID THE TOILET SAY TO THE OTHER?

YOU LOOK A BIT FLUSHED

Two persons were on a long train journey. With a view to whiling away the time, one of them asked the other, "Sir, What do you do?" "Well, I am a poet.

What about you?"



Immeditately came the guareded reply, " I am a deaf ".

Women:what is the name of this brand of this mirror?

Clerk:U / R /2 / U.G.L.Y

Women:excuse me?

Clerk:U / R /2 / U.G.L.Y



"......slap......"

Clerk:hey, it's the name of the brand!

ur mamas so dumb when she filled in a job application it said don’t write above the doted line and she wrote .."ok"

ur mamas so dumb she sold her car for gas money!

Son: Dad Dad!! ..rush out of the house at once.



Father: Why son?



Son: I heard Mom saying that she is going to throw out all useless things from house now.

My best friends mum is so fat last year when she went to the Video Music Awards, she sat next to every one.