Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. "If youre watching your weight," came one suggestion, "those diet frozen dinners are good." The man then added: "But get two. Theyre small."

Knock KnockWhos there !Bean !Bean who ?Bean working very hard today !

Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?A. Hey Baby, what’s SHAKING!

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?”Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”Bill: “What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?”

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.”Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.”Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.”

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.