One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.

In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?

"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brothers keeper or my keepers brother."

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses.

Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one.

Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"

"Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

Come on, Fred, Ill take you to the zoo.

If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

I took my son to the zoo yesterday.

Really, did they accept him?

Q: Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

A: One to get in and one to get out.

Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, "it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The Bears, so I followed that and saw the bears. But when I followed a sign that said To the Exit, I found myself out on the street."

Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home.

"Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day.

I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

Sauer and Tolbert went to the zoo and watched in awe as a lion let loose with a spine-tingling roar.

"Lets get out of here!" said Sauer.

"Go on, if you want to," said the other redneck. "But Ahm stayin for the whole movie!"