What did Santa Clauss wife say during a thunderstorm?Come and look at the rain, dear.

Youre hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom dont you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.

If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?Because it wasnt raining.

What doesnt get any wetter no matter how much it rains?The ocean

A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along.It smells like rain, he said to the boy.The city boy replied, They said it was lemonade.

Why do hurricanes travel so fast?Because if they travelled slowly, wed have to call them slow-i-canes.

"Gosh, its raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother."Ive just stepped in a poodle!"

There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, "It looks like a storm is coming." "No it isnt," said his wife. "Besides, how would you know?" "Because," he responded, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Fred: Im sure Im right. Betty: Youre as right as rain - all wet!

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said."You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again theyre sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didnt get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replied, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today."