What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until hes finished.

There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until theyre dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"

A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...cant see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor hes very depressed. Doc says, "Whats the problem...didnt the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered Ive been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone elses !

Whats a snakes favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, Ill just have a sliver !

Have you heard about the slippery eel ? Didnt think so, you wouldnt be able to grasp it !sna

Why wouldnt the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !

Whats a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !

Whats the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !