A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "Howd the meeting go?" asks the first guy."It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million.""Fabulous," says the guy by the pool."Theres just one catch," his partner warns."Whats the catch?""We have to put up ten thousand in cash".

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when hes done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.

Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Its not a bulb, its a globe.

Q: How many DPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

Q: How many Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one... but how do you get him in there with the cute, blonde?

Q: How many DPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Just one, if hes got a good crew to do it.

Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin he looked doing it.

Q: How many Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more, guys, I promise.

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? Ive got this neat candle holder...