Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. Whats the matter? Isnt half a million enough for you?

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it werent for my money, we wouldnt be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it werent for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldnt on a honeymoon, nor wouldthere be any "we" in the first place."

Dad, would you like to save some money?I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I wont wear my shoes out so fast.

Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? Shed read there was going to be some change in the weather.

I cant find my dollar bill, Jane sobbed.Dont worry, her Counselor said. A dollar doesnt go very far today.

One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. What are you doing? she asked.Im looking for my dollar bill, Max replied. I lost it down the road.Why dont you look for it there?Because the lights better here!

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. Heres five more for you,At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it ? asked his dad.I wish Id said Id lost ten cents!

Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, Is Washingtons picture still on the dollar bill?His Father wrote back, Of course it is. Why do you ask?Martin answered, Because its been so long since Ive seen one!

Visitor: Youre very quiet, Jennifer.Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.