Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well, Grandmas very deaf, so Im writing very loudly.

Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes - its the same as an English "s"

Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears. "Whats the matter?" asked her companion. "Oh dear," sobbed Auntie, "Its my favorite nephew. Hes got three feet." "Three feet?" exclaimed her friend. "Surely thats not possible?" "Well," said Auntie, "his mothers just written to tell me hes grown another foot !"

Whats the definition of a school report? A poison pen letter from the principal.

Whats a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?Its a dead letter day.

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail.

Last night I wrote myself a letter. But I forgot to sign it and now I dont know who its from.

I got an anonymous letter today. Oh, really - who was it from?!

1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying Im overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.

Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with "I." Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am." Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.