Fun is life.::. Judge jokes

:: Total Jokes: 62

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Judge jokes::

The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?"

"I do."

"Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?"

"Sure," said the witness. "My side will win."

Judge jokes::

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasnt true.

"Im as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.

The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."

Judge jokes::

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!"

"Why?" asked the Judge.

"Because youve had it decorated since the last time I was here."

Judge jokes::

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?"

"Not guilty" said the second defendant.

"I wasnt talking to you" the judge replied.

"I never said a word" the third defendant replied.

Judge jokes::

The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

Judge jokes::

The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"

"Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."

Judge jokes::

Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are on dead people.

Judge jokes::

Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand?

A: Yes

Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995?

A: Oral.

Judge jokes::

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher.

The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight.

"Now sit down at that table and write I will not pass through a red light five hundred times."

Judge jokes::

Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.

Justice: A decision in your favor.

:: Total Jokes: 62

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