Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp.

As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries."

The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries."

The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the editors turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie."I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrows newspaper is in about ten hours."

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasnt from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog."

"Actually," the man said, "Im from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, Yankee Kills Family Pet."

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor.

"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."

The Editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. We dont use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!"

The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . ) "

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him.Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway.

He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Lets go! Lets go!"

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air."Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because Im going to take pictures! Im a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean youre not the instructor?"

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "Theres nothing in here about fifty people being swindled."

The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"

Q: How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three - One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I wont sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles at him and says, "Im sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, Im a journalist and Ive got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.

The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".

The Washington Time : "Bushs conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".

Mother Jones : "Bush cant swim".