Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying "no"? No. Oh, so its you!

I cant understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed it.

Did you hear about the stupid wizard? He couldnt remember if he used to be forgetful.

A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said, "Its worse than I thought. Its broken on both sides."

Two men were knocking in nails to the sides of a house, one of them kept throwing them away."Why do you keep throwing nails away" said the other."Because they have the point at the wrong end", he replied"You fool, we could use those on the other side of the house!"

I dont know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it works.

An idiotic laborer was told by an equally idiotic foreman to dig a hole in the road. "And what shall I do with the earth, sir?" asked the laborer. "Dont be daft, man," he replied. "Just dig another hole and bury it."

A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, "Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then?" And Harry replied, "Im taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth."

A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet. "What are they for?" he asked the pet shop manager. "Ah well, sir," came the reply, "thats a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, hes a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot he says Hello and if you pull the string on his left foot he says Goodbye." "And what happens if you pull both strings at once?" "I fall off my perch, you fool!" screeched the parrot.

Teacher: Thats the stupidest boy in the whole school. Mother: Thats my son. Teacher: Oh! Im so sorry. Mother: Youre sorry?